Missing trust. Missing what our lives could be.

I witness lately an interesting trend among those I interact with. I see how a relevant number of people start refusing to trust. I see how they end up becoming cynical when claiming that they value trust while self-constraining themselves to not entirely trusting anyone or anything. Or at least not anymore. They all see their preemptive lack of trust as a must-have in sheltering and protecting themselves for not being caught “unguarded” and suffering unwanted consequences if betrayed in their offered trust’s anticipations. I think that while their primary concern can be shared in its rightfulness by most, if not all of us, the approach of “self-protectively” missing trust nonetheless is a wrong one.

In my view, at one point, we all face the risk to feel the disappointment brought by being deceived in the offered trust. I would only argue that the impact such a disappointment will have on ourselves will be determined by the way we treat trust.

A self-imposed exile to solitude by refusing to trust outside ourselves might still not offer us any guarantees that the situations we try to avoid will not happen. The only outcome of such approach will be that in facing disappointments, we will have no one to rely on for finding our way out other than the “brought-on-the-knees” ourselves. To make things worse, missing to trust others will limit us in trusting ourselves as well.

Trusting yourself cannot flourish in solitude. Own trust fortifies itself only in an honest trust sharing process, through the empowerment received from those to whom we genuinely offered trust. A weakened own trust will be incapable to help us deal with possible frustrations. Effects not only could be disproportionate but might also push our recovery far away on the line.

On the contrary, if we are committed to trust we would be able to maximize our chances to overcome moments of disappointment. Our genuine trust will attract the trust of others in response, helping us consolidate our belonging to relevant social and professional networks that confirm/reconfirm own strengths. Trust’s positive-outcomes conglomerate will offset by volume the effects that a possible disappointment might have on our lives. It will offer us the needed support, the “peace of mind” to analyze and extract the relevant lessons from it, hopefully to avoid it next time.

I strongly believe that trust defines the boundaries of our lives. In order to live we need to trust. Our physical survival depends on trusting things we learn in time, either through repetition or embedded in the customs that surrounds us in everything we do. We trust that our lives depend on air, water, food and warmth. We trust the images perceived by our eyes. We trust that day is followed by night same as youth is followed by old age.

On a different level, trust has become as well an important element in managing our present life’s interconnected complexity. It is not only about safely crossing the street on green light, trusting that in the same moment those driving will stop at light’s red color. At work, it is about succeeding to manage extremely complex projects because we genuinely trust team members’ ability to fulfill their tasks without further check. In life, it is about becoming early adopters of technological innovations because we trust that those initiating them are committed to transform our lives for better. It is about reaching geographical destinations further than before, embracing more and more different cultures/places because we trust pilots and their abilities to deal with unexpected.

It is also about trusting that dreams can inspire us. That kindness, involvement and recognition always attract the same. That effort is always rewarded and appreciated. It is about looking optimistic to our personal or professional future because we trust and consequently follow those with whom we resonate in our heart and mind’s entirety.

If trust quantifies the coordinates of our lives, I claim that only by continuously leveraging its level, we end up changing for better our existence.  We can make it significant for ourselves and others. This is also why I don’t see missing trust as self-protective as some might think of but rather like cheating to own life, to what could be in sense of personal enlightenment, fulfillment and rewards.